Creating Boundaries as a New Parent: Breaking the People-Pleasing Cycle

Becoming a new parent is an exciting yet challenging time. While you're adjusting to your new role, it's crucial to establish healthy boundaries and break free from any people-pleasing tendencies. This shift not only benefits you, but also sets a positive example for your child. New parents may fall into the trap of people-pleasing due to various factors:
‍

1. Desire for approval from family and friends
2. Fear of judgment about parenting choices
3. Overwhelming sense of responsibility
4. Anxiety about making mistakes

Recognizing these tendencies is the first step towards creating healthier boundaries for you and your family. Let's look through some strategies you can implement to make your boundaries clear as a new parent!

Strategies for Setting Boundaries
‍

• Identify Your Priorities
  ‍Take time to reflect on your values and what matters most to you as a parent. This clarity will help you make decisions aligned with your beliefs rather than others' expectations.
  ‍‍
• Learn to Say "No"
  ‍Practice saying "no" to requests that don't align with your priorities or energy levels. Remember, saying "no" to others often means saying "yes" to yourself and your family. It is not selfish! We understand this boundary may be the hardest one to set, but once you understand that to the word "no" isn't a negative thing, it becomes easier to communicate along the way.
  ‍‍
• Communicate Clearly
  Express your needs and boundaries clearly to family, friends, and even your partner. Be direct and avoid making excuses for your decisions. (this one goes hand in hand with learning to say "no!")
  ‍‍
• Set Visiting Hours
  Establish specific times when you're open to visitors. This helps manage the influx of well-wishers while ensuring you have enough private time with your newborn.
  ‍‍
• Trust Your Instincts
  As a new parent, you'll receive plenty of unsolicited advice. While some may be helpful, trust your instincts and make decisions that feel right for you and your baby.

‍

Setting these types of boundaries can be hard on someone who has spent much of their life trying to please those around them. It's not an easy task, and one that we understand may take time to break. So how do you work toward breaking those habits?

Breaking People-Pleasing Habits
‍

• Recognize Your Choices
  Understand that you have a choice in every situation. Your initial reaction might be to agree, but pause and consider if it truly aligns with your needs and feelings.
  ‍‍
• Practice Self-Care
  Prioritize self-care activities that recharge you. This might mean asking for help with childcare or household tasks to create time for yourself.
  ‍‍
• Seek Support
  Connect with other new parents or join support groups. Sharing experiences can help you feel less isolated and more confident in your choices.
  ‍‍
• Be Patient with Yourself
  Breaking people-pleasing habits takes time. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you learn and grow in your new role.
  ‍‍

‍

‍
‍The Benefits of Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries as a new parent offers numerous benefits:
‍

1. Reduced stress and anxiety
2. Improved relationships with family and friends
3. More genuine quality time with your baby
4. Boosted self-confidence in your future parenting decisions
5. Better role modeling for your child

Remember, creating boundaries isn't being selfish; it's about maintaining your well-being so you can be the best parent for your child. As you navigate this new chapter, be kind to yourself and celebrate your small victories. Your journey as a parent is unique, and by honoring your boundaries, you're creating a nurturing environment for both you and your child to thrive.

Looking for further support along the way? Check out our upcoming classes and support groups. They're virtual, free to join, and a safe space for you to show up as your most authentic YOU!